He Used To Wear Green
by Grape Nehi
Summary: Hawkeye POV. Hawkeye finds himself at a funeral which will certainly certainly change his life forever. Please R&R!


There will be no more to this. I repeat, no more. T'was a one shot thing. _G.N._

**Disclaimer:** Not mine. Never will be sobs.

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He used to wear green; we all used to wear green. But as I looked down on him, I noticed that he was wearing black. It seemed so wrong at the time, seeing my best friend in such a dark, seemingly endless and unforgiving color. But then I looked down, and I was wearing it too. Then I glanced down at the woman weeping in my arms, and she was wearing black as well.

I let out a sigh as I stood motionless in front of the casket. I felt the salty tears bottle up behind my eyes, but I mentally told them that I would not grant them passage. Instead I held the woman closer to me, and I watched as the tears ran down her lovely face and silently hit my suit.

I had to look away from the body because reality was hitting me too hard and too fast. I wanted to go sit down in my chair, but I felt like I couldn't ask the woman to come before she was ready, and I definitely wouldn't leave her alone.

She let out a long whimper and turned away from the casket, taking my hand in her's. I followed her willingly back to our chairs, her hand still holding mine.

"Peg," I whispered gently. "Are you okay?"

She looked at me with eyes that were beautiful, even when swollen from crying. "It's not easy."

"I know; it's not easy for me either." She tightened her grip on my hand so that it almost hurt, but I didn't want to ask her to stop.

"I know that BJ wouldn't want me to be sad, but I just can't help it, Hawkeye. I miss him so much already."

I put my other hand on top of her's and she rested her head on my shoulder. "I miss him too, Peg."

"Mommy!" Erin called out from across the room where she was sitting with her grandparents.

"Erin! Shhh!" her grandmother declared. "You must be quiet."

"Will you be okay without me for a second?" I asked Peg as I turned around to look at Erin.

"I'll manage," she answered with a sad smile. "You should go outside with Erin. She doesn't know what's going on and she's got to be bored out of her mind."

I felt guilty leaving her there alone, but I got up from my chair anyway and headed over towards Erin and her grandparents.

"Hawkeye!" Erin squealed.

"Hey kiddo. Wanna go for a walk with me?" I asked.

Erin nodded happily. I briefly felt sorry for her. She was too young to understand. But then I remembered when my mother died. I was old enough to understand and it hurt me. Maybe in that sense Erin was lucky.

I picked her up and carried her outside. I did it mostly so that I could get out of there for a second. My emotions were starting to catch up with me and I didn't like it.

We found a concrete bench and sat down.

"How are you feeling, Erin?" I asked as I sat her on my knee.

"I dunno. Peoples are crying and it makes me sad."

I smiled a weak smile at her. "Sweetie, do you understand why the people are sad?"

Erin shrugged. "Daddy is sick."

I felt the tears building up again, just when I thought that I had defeated them. I didn't know how to explain BJ's death to her. I didn't know if I should. Most of all, I didn't know why I felt like I had to.

"Honey, your daddy passed away. He's... in heaven now."

Erin looked up at me with her big blue eyes that she had obviously inherited from BJ. "Where's that?"

I had no clue what to tell her, so I just pointed up towards the sky. "There."

"Daddy's in the sky?" she asked amazed.

Luckily, before I had to answer everyone started filing out of the funeral home. I saw as many familiar faces as unfamiliar ones. "There's Mommy. Why don't you go give her a hug?"

She jumped off of the bench and ran over to Peg, wrapping her arms around her legs. I watched as Peg reached down and picked up Erin. She hugged her tightly and for a second I imagined that she would never let go.

I let out a sigh. I had promised BJ that I would take care of Peg and Erin if something ever happened to him. Now that something had happened to him, it was going to be harder than I thought.


End file.
